Wednesday, 25 February 2009

The Animal Ball

being a great dancer I had an invite to the Animal Ball. I found my self dancing with the tarantula as it tangoed. I next danced with the octopus as it ocean tentacled in a woogie wave. At the same time the crab did the salsa in a side ways pincer movement. The monkey was swinging and stomping to jazz music. The crocodile was twisting and rolling to rock music. The dodo was doing the extinct two step. The hippo was hip hopping to hip hop music. The rat was rapping in a ratamataz style. The tuna fish were swimming in synchronization to a sea shanty tune. The sea horses were boogie bobbing when the mackerel were feeling the blues in the sea. The python was zig zaging to Ziggy Stardust music. The elephants were trunk waltzing in a stomp. The lammas were lamenting to a limbo. The frogs were leap frogging to a Frog Lake ballet. The chickens and penguins were doing a funky dance. The jelly fish were wobbling to mellow jazz. The Irish terrier was jigging to folk music. The turkey was jiving with a duck to Glen Miller's music.

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Football Fools ( pools) Results

Kidneypond 2 frogs. Everlasting battery 1 volt.
Chester Zoo two by two. Peter Belly 1 button
Chelocean 1 fathom. Sunandsand 3 deck chairs
Lapton Villa Hotel 0 rooms. knights Castile 1000 soap suds
Heatburn 2 tanfasticks. West Pork 2 sausages
Women United 5 lipsticks. Women City 4 handbags.
Bottoms Up 3 cheers. Old Spam 2 sandwhiches
Celery Stick 3 stalks. Lone Rangers 2 kimo sabies
Chelsea Buns 5 currants. Totem Poles 4 whoops
Faint Hearts 12 sighs. Aberdean Angus 11 moos
Crystal glasses 7 clinks. Torn kecks 5 holes
Gretna Green 1 million marriages. Ross 12 fish fingers
Nottingham Forest 1 Robin Hoods. Boston Tea Party 5 kilos of tea
Alloa 3 hoola hoops. Cowthenbeef 3 corns
Stirling £ 400000000. Broke ( Stoke) 0
Rottenham 2 nose pegs. Notthisfield 0 grass
Wicklow 2 spots. Henhouse 2 speckled eggs
Buckingham Palace 10 corgis. Loch Ness 1 not spotted monster
Henhousemore 12 chicks. Uddersfield 5 cows
Landsend 15 English Channels. John O Groats 8 highland flings

A Fairer World For All

Today the price of living is beyond fairness. The cost of heating ones domain makes me boil over. The cost of using energy for eating makes me fast. The cost of being clean makes me unclean. The idea of keeping those fat cats in the height of luxury when the poor can't even afford to heat their own homes, food and wash is scandalous. Where have all the profits gone to explore cheaper, efficent energy.? Gone to subsidise the fat cats milking the poor.

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

What A Beach

One sunny day i went to the beach. The sand fancying a sandwich began to swallow me up but got away i was like quick sand.
The water lapped at my feet good job i changed my socks. But the waves ebbing to and fro were waving in unison to the seasiders.
The seas gulls dropping doodlebugs on my head gave me an Afro hairdo. A crab put a bucket on my head and give me a quick short back and sides. A sandpiper with bagpipes played Gull of Kintyre. The cockles and mussels were cocky and muscled in on the deck chairs. The whales went to Rhyl in Wales for a thrill on the fair. I sat down on a deck chair it began to shuffle me looking for a full deck. An octopus with its tentacles at tenterhooks tangoed with me. Feeling seasick i jumped on driftwood and drifted off on the high tide.

Monday, 9 February 2009

Vegetable Fiasco

I went to a greengrocers. Cheap prices trolley good show. Before my very eyes some of the veg were eating a table. The yams were jamming with the jams. The toms were treading on a toe. The peas were I poding. The green beans being has beans were having a beano. The cuecumbers were playing snooker with their cues but cunbersome. The celery were stalking in cells. The cabbages cabbaged leafed around in bunches. The carrots were rotting in their cars. Onions had on neon peel appeal.
The potatoes were chasing their toes with a pot. The lettuce went religous saying "lettuce pray." The green onions kept playing the record green onions.
The leeks were spys leaking sensitive information to the red radical radishes.
The turnips turned up uninvited. The sprouts spread out and sprouted everywhere i got wind of this and exited stage left.

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Kitchen Sink Drama

The pots i was washing went potty and saucy. They boiled my eye lashes and stewed my hair with ketchup. I looked at the colander it showed the date?
My friend looked at me and said " Wok's up." I finished up away with the food mixer. The pans caused pandamonium concocting recipes of disaster. The knifes and forks were always falling out back stabbing. The salt and pepper mills were assaulting and shaking me. I sneezed at this.
The cork screw was screwy. Food for thought I digested enough of this. I left the kitchen couldn't take any more and went for a takeaway.

True Grit?

Flakes of snow stopped the country from functioning again. With todays technology and early warning weather forecasts we still are caught by heavy falls of snow. The gritters are also caught out again. How about about a giant hot vapour machine with vacumn type tubes. That melts the snow on the roads and streets in an instant?